Saturday, August 7, 2010

Oh, you need to enjoy these days

I think I have heard that comment one too many times. About how the days with all these kids will just fly by and you will wish that you had "these" days back. Anybody else heard that?

Other older moms get to say that because they have had a decent nights rest and gotten oh, more than 2 hours of solid rest in a night.

They forgot that didn't they?

Older moms have also forgotten what it is like to be walking around your house at 3:38 p.m. and realize, "Oh. I haven't had a chance to brush my teeth today."

They have forgotten what it is like to have a coherent conversation about legos and bionicles. Or Hello, Kitty. In voices that are 4 octaves above the range your headache can stand (because of that wonderful, night's sleep you got for the whole week).

Please, please, can we just be real? Yes, my littles are growing up. Do I miss that babies? Yes! and NO. I love the fuzzy head. I love the fact you can put them down and they stay there. I love, love the little "O" faces and the yawns that come from the bottom of their toes. I love the 5 year old innocence and funnies.

But you know what?

I love that my older guys can make a meal and serve it. I love that I can tell my older guys to work it out and no one is screaming at each other. I love that they can get themselves dressed and all the clothes are facing forward and right side out. I am going to love the days when I don't have a diaper to change anymore.


I am going to love having a decent night's rest so I don't have to summon the patience of Job to get through a day.

oh, while I am writing this I have kicked everyone (except the snoring DH) out of the house. If they came in they were given the option of stay outside and play or come inside and clean.

I might have a couple more hours of quiet.


Marie said...

The stages all come with their own set of nightmares. I loved babies and toddlers, and loved independence even more.

I loathed sleepless nights when they were little, and when they were sick back then. I loathe the phone ringing now, after my bedtime (which is about 930 some nights), because I know the other end of the voice could may say things like" mom, there's been an accident. or mom, I'm okay.. but, or my car broke down, or someone here is drinking and can you come for me, or any of the million other things about their semi-grown up lives that I can't control but can still keep me up at night.

I loathe the feeling that shows up in the pit of my stomach every time one of them pulls a car out of our driveway, and stays there until they return.

I love that they can make dinner, take care of the dogs, and house and allow me to go away for a weekend.

I miss them being home more than away, because I feel like they are safe when they are here.

I loved the phases between about 7 and 13, when they were independent, but still under my watch most of the time. When I had control of their decisions, and yet they could "take care of themselves."

I loathe the stages where they are exposed to life, and think they are invincible, yet don't need me to help them and certainly don't cherish my advice.

I love when they make a solid adult decision on their own, and stick by it.

I miss the smell of bathtime, the snuggles before bed, the "thanks, mom" that came from just doing the simplest things.

I don't think mom's of olders have forgotten how hard youngers are, I think we remember how sleepless things were, but also how sweet and lovable the children were. The work was exhausting, but just a few moments with a grateful 3 year old can make that worthwhile.(not less exhausting, but at least feel a tiny bit rewarded)

THe worry, and fear, and sleeplessness of olders is there, and the things we worry about and lose sleep over have dire consequences, yet there is no 5 minutes of gratefulness tossed in to make it worthwhile. More often than not, our concern is met with anger, or indifference, and the memory of the sweet younger years is what sustains us through these times of challenge as our kids test their wings.

So when I say you will miss these years, understand that I know how hard they are, and even knowing that, I would take them back in a moment!

I am looking forward to the next stage, which hopefully brings a set of grateful adults who now understand how much sacrifice parenting has been. And grandkids!!!

HUGS to you! I hope you have a week's worth of sleep (or at least a few naps this week), and I acknowledge how hard you are working every day. Miss you much!

dawn said...

Having grandchildren is waaaaaay better. I hear ya, Dana. And I agree. I like it better at THIS stage.

ScrappinCindy said...

You and Marie both bring me to tears! Yes, the littles are HARD, but as I cross over to the olders, they are their own brand of HARD. I think the answer--once you've had a nap!-- is that we need to plan a girls' nite/overnight. What's halfway between here and Marie? Unfortunately, I have to survive another fair next week first. But then I'll REALLY need that night!


The days are so different. Instead of mess and homeschool teaching I have a DH working from home and quiet until 2:54 when #6 (who is 10)...