I just read Chris' blog at the Big Yellow House. She makes me laugh. Her blog was an answer to prayer for me. I need opportunitities to laugh. It heals me in ways I never anticipated. I find myself laughing and crying now more than I have in years. Life has been so numbing.
Her most recent post was about things to do before she turns forty. Somedays I have angst over my age. It is something that you just cannot stop-time. Angst is something I have been experiencing more and more. When I was younger I could just make a decision. I can't seem to make certain decisions lately.
Are there more children for our family?
How do I ensure that these children have a testimony of Christ and his gospel?
Do I love myself?
Will I accomplish anything that will be good?
Am I a good mother?
Am I a good wife?
Will I be able to educate the children?
Am I happy?
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