Sunday, September 25, 2011

Embracing It

School has been going to for two weeks now. My arsenal this year includes new school rules, set school hours and consequences if you do not follow the rules or do something that is not school related during school hours, check lists, reading lists, assigning out gym class for the littles to a big kid (same with some science and reading lessons) and exit checks. I am finding keeping school running for 6 kids is now a full time job. It used to be part-time. It is now full time. Most outside interests are now being placed on the back burner and moved off the stove all together! It is only going to be like this for a couple of years. #1 and #2 will start college as soon as next year. I am not going to fight this time of my life. I am really working on embracing it.

It isn't as easy as typing that sentence.

I find day after day, year after year turning my will over the Heavenly Father's can be tiring. On the days I struggle I normally haven't taken good enough care of me. The exercise hasn't happened. The scripture study hasn't happened. The house is a mess. Someone is dancing around me asking what there is to eat (when there is a snack cupboard and frig full of food). The kids are pushing me to do more and I have another family over for dinner or a playdate. Therefore my quiet time hasn't happened. My date night hasn't been happening regularly (or at least when both of us are awake, stinky 80 hour work weeks).

I lose sight that these children are also God's children. They will succeed in ways that aren't as tangible as being a football star or section leader in band or National Honor Society electee. (All these things are great accomplishments but is that all you want your child to be?)

When you are a homeschooling mom you don't have external indicators that your child is doing okay. Only every now and then do you catch a glimpse of who they are becoming.

I live day in and day out with all their faults (and mine) blaring loudly in front of us. I sometimes don't see the how we are progressing. Embracing all that can be a true act of faith. Oh, what an act of faith!

But I find myself being whispered to, "You aren't the only one who has faith. I have faith in you. They will be fine. You are doing it. You are doing it."

and so you find a kleenex, wipe your face, blow your nose and keep on going.

1 comment:

The Lunds said...

They are children of God. And you are a daughter of God. He knows everything about you. He made you. He has blessed you with everything that you would need to come back home to Him. He also knew what it would take make you come unto Him.

Makes me think of a Carrie Underwood song, Jesus, Take the Wheel.



The days are so different. Instead of mess and homeschool teaching I have a DH working from home and quiet until 2:54 when #6 (who is 10)...