Misadventures of Yet Another Babysitter

DH and I had a church meeting on Thursday night. We hired a sitter we had used in the past. He is a boy. Can you just hear the glee of all these testosterone laden children?

Learning from my past mistakes I wrote out very clear instructions. Bedtimes, who can sleep where, no computer, no tv, snacks okay, brush teeth. I finished the writing with: Play! Have Fun!

M. saw that and said, "Oh, yah! for sure we will have fun!" while nodding his head. Just so you know, I didn't hire a 12 year old. I hired a high school senior that has his own job, car and cell phone. He is capable enough to pull all that off. He has watched the boys/kids for us before. He is one of 6, he has 5 sisters. The only reason we haven't used him more is it is difficult to get through on the phone line to arrange for him to come over (5 sisters).

I was bathing today and #3 just had to come talk. (::eyeroll:: That kid always needs to talk.) He was giggling and told me how much fun they had last night. I expect the farting and burping contests. The boys hear that M. is coming and part of the glee includes, "All Right! We can have another burping/fart contest." (sigh-I am picking my battles.) I expect the dodgeball on the trampoline, and the popcorn game on the trampoline.

What I didn't expect was this one, "Weww, afta the babies wewa in bed. We POPPED POPCOWN!! (I am thinking, "You came into the bathroom to talk to me to tell me popped popcorn?") Mama, we popped popcown in the aiwa poppa in the middall of the famiwy woom without the WID! It was way coowa mom. Did you know that if you put popped popcown in the poppa when it is running it comes out even fasta? It is wike a vowatex."

In my attempts to not levitate from the bathtub, I nonchalantly asked this child, "How come you didn't just do it on the back deck?" Cause I know that if they get a rise out of me it will happen again.

He responds, "Weww, thewa wewa too many gewms out thewa on the back deck. We ate it all."

I can just picture all of them in the family room, the floor is covered in popcorn and they are all crawling around like animals licking up popcorn. The gross thing is #2 didn't vacuum yesterday and the deck may have been a better option.

A New Classic: Peanut Butter

On Saturday DH and I attended a marriage enrichment course. It was very good. We don't have a bad marriage, in fact, I think we have a good, if not great, marriage but we needed some tweaking. We decided to get a room for Saturday night and sleep. And we did. After our class we took a 3 hour nap, got up, did dinner and then went back to sleep for the night.

We hired two sitters to watch the brood. Maybe we have a gaggle? A herd? Anyway, I digress. We walked in Sunday at noon to find that the sitters were still asleep, the children had been awake since 7:00 a.m. #3 met me at the door with the absolutely most pathetic face I have seen. "Mama! I am soooo hungry" and he started crying. I knew right then and there things were not right.

I told him to eat cereal. Then I walked into the family room and found that all the couch cushions were off, the Girl (21 months, a.k.a. Mistress of Mess) had gotten a jar of peanut butter off the countertop. She brought it over to my BRAND.NEW. loveseat, took off the lid, smeared peanut butter all over the back of the loveseat, a couple of cushions from the couch and then covered herself head to toe in peanut butter.

She also got hold of a marker and decorated the entire desk and DH's work laptops.

#4 was under the bench and dining table breaking an entire box of crayons into bits.

#4 had a stinky diaper.

#1 and #2 were on the computer sucked into a new Bionicle game oblivious to all that was going on around them.

I called the sitters' mother. She told me to let them "have it."

We got the Girl into the tub, the stinky diaper taken care of, the cereal dished out to #3, #1 and #2 were looking sheepish and getting ready for church. I head downstairs to talk to the sleeping ones.

This is how I let them "have it," "We are home. It is 12:05. You are asleep, the kids have been awake since 7:00 and there is a jar of peanut butter smeared into my brand new furniture. Your mother says to let you have it but I don't have teenagers yet so I don't know how to let you have it."

Not very good, huh?

D. (older of the sisters) replies to me, "Don't worry. You will learn how."

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

A. came upstairs, looked at the couch and started bawling.

You know, the couch doesn't bother as much as the fact that the kids were not taken care of. It just killed me to be met at the door by a crying child who was hungry and not cared for. There are so many things that really, really could have happened to my children. We are so incredibly blessed that it was just a couch, a box of crayons and an empty tummy.


and, yes, we are getting new sitters.

And all that peanut oil should keep the Girl's skin peanutty smooth. Sheesh.

The Cafe

Yesterday the masses decided they had to watch "Blue's Clues" with the toddlers. (I still just don't understand why an 11 yo and almost 10 yo watch Blue's Clues but that is for another rambling.) They watched an episode that had Blue's Cafe, Steve and Blue made menus and served a meal. Immediately after the TV was turned off the boyos made the declaration, "We have to have a cafe!"

Who am I to say no? They were going to make dinner and serve it. Sure, why not?

Last night was Brownhead Cafe. #3 made menus and was waiter and busboy. #1 and 2 were chefs. We had the option of leftover Broccoli Soup or Spaghetti. The kids' choice on the menu was Banana Dogs. #3 made no bake cookies for dessert. After the meal was finished I went to work on the laundry. #3 came downstairs and informed me that at restaurants you pay money to eat and that dinner was $10.50. I told him, "go talk to my date." He ran back upstairs to talk to DH. I found out later that they presented DH with a bill. One had a total on it, another had terms and conditions (no credit, no debit-really!). They were totally hoping they were going to get some cash. giggle DH said, "No way. I already paid for this food. I am paying you in cookies."

There were no complaints.

Brownhead Cafe was a success! I have no complaints. They made dinner and cleaned the kitchen. They know they are capable of making dinner and cleaning a kitchen and eating lots of cookies.

I like to read other people's blogs. I find them humorous, information, and even liberating. It is nice to know there are others "out there" who are struggling, working and don't know exactly what to do in their lives especially when it comes to raising children.

The reason for this post? Today I was reading a blog and found myself chastizing myself, "Well, why don't you make little bento boxes for each of the children for their lunches? how come there weren't more veggies? why don't you make rice molds? and use a paper punch to make stars out of nori to decorate those rice cakes?"

I had to slap myself out of it. Each of us has a life that is custom fit for us. Heavenly Father saw to that. I don't have to make bento boxes to be a good mom. I don't have be thin, beautiful or doing crafts. I have enough of what this family needs even though the world wants me to think I don't.

I am really working hard to keep telling myself that today.

Off for the weekend

This weekend I am attending Time Out for Women. I am also renting a hotel room and sleeping.