Time for the birthday present conversation

#3 is having a birthday this week. He is turning 6. He started talking about what kind of party he wanted, the cake he wanted, the presents he wanted, the food he wanted for his birthday the day after he turned 5.

I am not kidding.

Needless to say, I tired of the birthday talk the day after he turned 5. I banned all talk of birthday until one month before his next birthday. In our curriculum we are working with a calendar and I starred the day we could talk about presents. The flu took over and I just got around to having the present conversation this morning.

Mama: Well, it is time to talk about birthday presents. What would you like?
#3: Weww....I would like a Staw Waws wight saba that is two dollaws, it comes in a singwa pack, bwue, not the doubwa pack. It should be two dollaws and that is in the budget wight?
Mama thinks: hmmm, he has been talking with the brothers-they know about the budget
Mama says: Okay. Is there anything else?
#3: Yes. An Ice Pirwaka (piraka-for all those not in the know-legos).
Mama: Well, what if the store is out of Ice Pirakas? Is there anything else you would like? (sincerely hoping that I will not have to purchase legos)
#3: Well, they are popuwar with hundweds of kids and the storwa should have them.
Mama: What if they don't?
#3: Weww, any ovva (other) piwaka is okay.

We do something else for a while then I open the conversation back up again.

Mama: You know, those brothers have been hassling you about legos. Are you sure you want legos for your birthday?
#3: I am suwa. I am not going to open them until THEY leave the house.
Mama, stifling a huge laugh: Well 14 years is a long time to wait to play with your birthday toys.
#3: FOUWATEEN YEAWS! I fink I need to fink about this.

Now some may think this is an excessive conversation to have with your almost 6 year old about his birthday present. You were not present last year at the opening of the present. We normally have a pretty tight budget about birthday gifts. I went over last year and purchased a Leap Pad with 3 cartridges. #3 was expressing an interest in learning to read and really loved Curtis' LeapPad. I talked it over with DH, he agreed and we went ahead and bought him his present with accompanying storage case.

#3 opens the gift. DH isn't at home because he has been working 80+ hour week against a deadline. #3 looks at the LeapPad, he looks at me. He looks at the LeapPad, he looks at me and then screams, "I DIDN'T WANT A BOWWWING WEADING GIFT!! I WANTED TWANSFOWMAS!" He then subjected the entire household to the worst hour and a half tantrum I had seen in a very long time.

So to ensure I am not purchasing a "boring reading gift" I check to see if the kid wants a "transformer." Only this year it is a "piwaka."

I had to laugh at the fact that he isn't going to open legos until his brothers move out of the house. Right.

And the winner is....update

DH took 1-4 to our stake Pinewood Derby today. #1 took 5th overall. He now has a foot high trophy to accompany his 4 inch high trophy.

#2 seemed to be happy because he got to eat hot dogs for lunch. #3 was happy because he saw a 9 banded armadillo (Science Alive was there with animals) and #4 was happy because he got to put on his coat and go.

Is there a nice way to say I told you so?

#1 says to me: Mom? Why am I breathing so funny? I can't stop.

Mama's reply: Get a bowl.

#1: I don't have to barf!!

Mama's more stern reply: GET A BOWL!

#1: But I am NOT going to barf.

Mama's even more stern reply: NOW. GO TO THE CUPBOARD. GET A BOWL.

#1: Alright (as he grudgingly starts digging through the plastics cupboard)(grumbling the entire time)

Less than a minute later, with bowl on his lap, he uses it.

Flu has struck my house.

But you know--I have only been pregnant 6 times, barfing countless times and I know nothing about vomitting. I did not say I told you so.

But I really wanted to.

Merry Christmas

The day is going well. No blowups yet. But he has been out in the garage for almost an hour so something could be brewing.

The boys all liked the gifts we chose for them. #3 was a hoot. Opening his Bionicle costume he shouted, "Holey Pazoolllleeeeyyyy!" He may be a handful but he definitely makes Christmas fun. Even made both of my parents laugh.

We had strata for breakfast, leftovers and snacked all day. The dinner menu is grilled pork roast, holiday potato casserole, steamed broccoli, salad, strawberry pretzel salad and pumpkin parfaits.

still digesting

The Mean Mama

That is me. The Mean Mama.

The boys were behind on their schoolwork. There is a really fun CubScout activity tonight involving a water park. Their father and I told them they had to be finished by 5 pm to be able to have the privilege to go to the activity.

I can honestly say I don't think I have ever seen tears quite so big or sobs so sorrowful. The wailing was tremendous. DS #1 was close. He was only short 4 assignments. DS #2 was never going to make it. They both goofed off too much. Part of me is really sad for them. The other part of me is a bit satisfied they are seeing/feeling the consequences of not finishing their work in a timely manner. I guess I have to really drop the other shoe now. Until they are done with all their bookwork there are no electronics privileges. Man, it is going to kill me.

hanging head in defeat

Mama? Will you please come wipe me?

When will this ever stop? When will the kid wipe his own bottom?

Today I hear the call go out. "Mama! Will you please come wipe me?"
"MAma! Will you please come wipe me?!"
"MAMA! WILL YOU PLEASE COME WIPE ME!!!"

I went to the bathroom and calmly explained to the kid, "You are almost 6, you need to wipe yourself."

His response:
"I am not going to wipe myself until I am sixteen."

What a kid. #3.


My response? "Well, you are going to have a awful sore bottom."

The Little Shyster

The term shyster is something I have grown up with. Not everyone has this word in their vocabulary. People give me a funny look when they hear it. I always heard my dad talking about this shyster and that shyster. So-and-so is a shyster.

I am raising a shyster. (Just so you know shyster and lawyer are in the same category.) I am not doing it on purpose. He is just that way. He is very smart and very loquacious.

Sunday, after being pulled out of the pew by daddy (because he wasn't being reverent) he decided he wasn't going to be reverent on the stand either while sitting on DH's lap. He was on daddy's lap in front of the entire congregation and still not behaving. Tears were rolling down his face, DH was whispering in his ear and trying to reason with him. What does the kid say? He said, "I will be reverent if you take me to Toys R Us." DH was flabbergasted. I laughed when he told me.

Shyster.